FUN and energising, or dreadful and suffocating – school life can offer contrasting experiences for different students.

The main reason for such distinct experiences, in my view, lies in just one word: comparison.

Amid the long hours and heavy schoolwork, you can probably picture the subtle silhouette of that one classmate who is constantly one-upping you.

Whether it’s scoring one mark higher in the mid-term exams or finishing two seconds faster in the annual school marathon, this person is always one step ahead.

Comparison is the infamous thief of joy – robbing you of the chance to celebrate your own success just because someone else seems to outshine or outdo you.

I’ll admit it openly: I, too, was an unfortunate victim of the green-eyed monster.

I soon learnt that the key to letting go of a comparative mindset is to stop believing that comparison is a good motivator.

That meant viewing comparison not as a way to fire myself up with encouragement, but as a mentally self-deprecating and harmful habit.

Comparing yourself to others is not a healthy way to motivate yourself, let alone a sustainable source of self-empowerment for achieving long-term goals.

It beats you up when you fail, and gives you cheap, unreliable and fleeting happiness when you win.

That’s why it’s time to reframe our thoughts on comparison. After all, realisation is the first step towards overcoming anything.

We need to ask ourselves: Is comparison truly a better source of encouragement than healthier forms of motivation – like setting realistic goals and finding intrinsic reasons for our actions?

The next step to breaking the comparison cycle is to shift the focus back to yourself.

Yes, you!

Comparison is inherently flawed because each individual is uniquely different. Unless a cloning machine is invented, there will never be another you in this world.

Life is not a competition; it’s a journey. A journey to weave your own dreams into life, to create and to explore. No one shares the exact same path or circumstances as you.

It is ineffective to copy or compare someone else’s path to your own. Their route to success might dim the shine of your own personal strengths.

It is a surefire recipe for disaster – a massive dip in confidence and self-worth.

So, I thought to myself: What if, instead of measuring myself against others, I strived to become the best version of myself? What if I let my personal interests drive me, and focused on my own emotional growth?

That was the magic that disentangled me from jealousy.

In breaking free from it, I found the freedom to grow – because I was no longer tied down by the achievements of others.

Last but not least, learn to stop yourself. When you catch your mind spiralling into comparison, consciously stop and refocus.

Count your blessings and love what you have – because no one else will have the exact same things as you.

In summary, comparison is a nasty double-edged sword – not because it has benefits, but because it cuts, bruises and hurts both parties involved.

You are you, and I am me. That’s enough. That’s the beauty we lose when we compare.

Pei Yen, 15, a student in Selangor, is a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team. For updates on the BRATs programme, go to facebook.com/niebrats.