Isabel: Life isn’t about proving ourselves to others.
IN a world that constantly celebrates success, it’s easy to forget one’s own worth.
I began comparing myself to my friends when I was younger. I worried that I wasn’t smart, graceful or beautiful enough – like a puzzle missing too many pieces.
Even when I gave my best, I was never satisfied. I wasn’t just trying to improve – I needed to be the best.
At first, this mindset appeared like a good thing. It pushed me to work harder, study longer, and pour myself into every challenge.
But over time, the pressure became overwhelming.
This was especially clear during a debate competition I had spent weeks preparing for. I rehearsed my arguments endlessly, believing my hard work would guarantee a win.
But when we lost, I broke down. I was happy for the winning team – they deserved it – but it didn’t ease my own sense of loss.
That moment stayed with me for days, not just because of the defeat, but also because it made me question everything.
“Why didn’t my effort pay off? Am I not good enough?”
One day, I came across a quote that moved me deeply: “Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself by comparing your life with others. Do your own things at your own pace. Life is a journey, not a race.”
It was the reminder I needed.
For so long, I had chased a version of success based on comparison and competition.
But life isn’t about proving ourselves to others. It’s about growing, learning, and finding fulfilment in our own way.
Letting go of pressure isn’t easy, but I’ve learnt a few things that help.
First, fulfilment doesn’t just come from winning. Contributing to others – mentoring, volunteering or playing team sports – offers deeper rewards like connection, meaning and pride.
Second, effort doesn’t always guarantee success. It’s better to enjoy the process than to force progress. Our worth isn’t measured by trophies, but by the heart behind our efforts.
Third, rest is productive too. Slowing down and taking breaks isn’t laziness – it’s essential. Burnout doesn’t build greatness. Space to breathe fuels inspiration and growth.
In the end, life isn’t a competition. There will always be someone achieving more.
My success isn’t measured by how I compare to others, but by how much I grow, how much I learn, and how fully I live.
Walk at your own pace. It’s not a race – it’s your life.
Isabel, 14, a student in Selangor, is a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team. For updates on the BRATs programme, go to facebook.com/niebrats.
